You are a guy and have just met a girl you know fleetingly. [you are a ‘cool’ guy, you totally know so, which of course must mean you are cool, right? Right. Whatever.] You meet at a club, and you get the feeling something could happen here. Like here and now. There might be a slight history of surface chemistry- the like you have in sputtering test tubes- or there might not. It’s a dark club (are there any other kinds), you’re pleased to note the girl in question is slightly under the influence. How convenient. You lean closer and she does not stop you. You touch her gently, you can see this being really charming, and she smiles. You know tonight is the night your underpants have been waiting for. You can feel it. Actually, they can feel it, but let us leave that for now. She is in a group of friends you have never met. None of them seem to be warming towards you, though. Some of them dance. She does not want to anymore. The music is terribly inspiring.
You’re at this ‘point in time’. The smallest of efforts could do it for you here, you know you’re so close. And what do you decide to do?

You move to the dance floor at its emptiest. You proceed then to attempt some sort of robot dance step. This is, of course, completely in keeping with the coolness that you exude. You turn toward the girl and her friends, trying to captivate her with a smouldering look, in the middle of that step. You know you are doing it, because you can feel your eyes narrowing just that little sexy bit.

Then you know its time for the final nail. The ultimate clincher. The time has come to impress her irrevocably. SO you whisper in her ear, to watch you a little more, as you will go back to the floor and levitate. Yes, levitate. She is just going to love this, right? Right.
A smooth walk back to the centre. A few more lovable robot steps. Another stylish turn (god, that was so stylish, you almost love yourself for it), another piercing look. Your hands move up, almost in slow motion, and say, in a vertically adjusted version from the Jack Rabbit Slimm’s Contest- how can you possibly go wrong with his step?- say “Look at me, baybee”. Then you turn your back on her mysteriously. It is the time for your move. So slowly, ever so slowly, you lighten your feet. Then you stand, oh so briefly, on your toes, before landing back on your heels.

That was it. She must be stunned. Surely, the night is now yours.

9 thoughts:

Citrus Wednesday, July 20, 2005  


Rat Wednesday, July 20, 2005  

Is there a part 2 to this story ?

Not Applicable Thursday, July 21, 2005  

(Terrrrible pun) but this one's a bit vAuge.

What happens next?

Jay Thursday, July 21, 2005  

If you really executed the Robot on the dance floor, I'm thinking that neither you nor your underpants got lucky that night.

Anonymous Thursday, July 21, 2005  

priceless i say!

Citrus Friday, July 22, 2005  

you've captured something.something that's stuck half way between a hell of a lot of confidence and on the other side,unsure ness. leaves me feeling confused.

[and i hate to say this but the comments spoil your post. like eveyone is trying to figure you out or something, instead of just appreciating [or not] the writing for what it is]

Citrus Friday, July 22, 2005  

...uh, ok not all the comments. i should take a moment to think before i type :)

. Saturday, July 23, 2005  

ok guys. sorry for the delayed, and brief, response, but this is all I can manage right now:
the guy in the story is not me [Jay, is that how you see me?].
Forget the robot step, what the hell is the 'levitation' stunt?
yeah, and I don't think anyone got lucky...

Anonymous Monday, December 12, 2005  

Hi there Blogger, I had been out looking for some new information on when I found your site and this post. Though not just what I was searching for, it drew my attention. An interesting post and I thank you for it.

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